Tender Mercies

I had a light-hearted essay ready, but in light of the fact that the father of a good friend passed away today, it didn't seem right to post it. Instead, my thoughts have been dwelling on the tender mercies that seem to arise at our darkest moments.

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Life can be mercilessly unfair, yet also extremely generous. My friend's father is no longer in the presence of his family, blessing their lives with his intelligence and humor, but she was able to (what now seems miraculously) cross the country to spend the last few days of his life with him.

Remembering my own experiences with grief I began to think, what can I say to her- to anyone- to sufficiently convey sympathy and hope? Nothing seems right. Truly, grief is so intense and personal that it is probably more important just to be available to a grieving person, so that they know they are not alone.

It is after the initial shock of loss that words of hope seem more appropriate. More than anything else, what I would want a grieving person to know is that life can and does go on. That it is no tribute to your deceased loved one to let their loss destroy your future. Rather, when we move forward with positive goals in their honor, we are a living memorial to them every day.

I also know that surviving my own grief was made possible by the knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father, whose love and tender mercies sustained me. I am so grateful for His plan that will enable us to be together forever when this life is over.

I'm getting to the age where many of my friends are losing their parents. It is a transitional experience, I'm observing. My love and prayers go to all such friends. May you feel the Lord's loving arms around you at this difficult time.